


Everything's fine until it was too late

by PumpkinPieTimb



Series: Awesamdad fics [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alexis | Quackity Needs a Hug, Angst, Awesamdude - centric, Awesamdude is Quackity's dad, Gen, Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Sam | Awesamdude Angst, Sam | Awesamdude Needs a Hug, change my mind, lots and lots of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28372722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinPieTimb/pseuds/PumpkinPieTimb
Summary: Evrything was fine, he fooled himself into thinking that everything was fine. But nothing is fine. Because he was too late. It was too late for anything to be fine.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Sam | Awesamdude
Series: Awesamdad fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078037
Comments: 26
Kudos: 241





	Everything's fine until it was too late

**Author's Note:**

> I am here to provide more Awesamdad content, enjoy!
> 
> Quick note: the setting is in Sam's house in the middle of nowhere and not his secret base :)

Sam glanced up from his blueprints at the sound of the front door slamming shut. Heavy footsteps echoing through the house. He silently waits for the person to make themselves known, he didn't bother being alarmed or anything, there are very few people who knew how to get to his base and he trusts that they won't go around announcing where he lived to strangers. 

A few moments later, Quackity entered the kitchen with a scowl, so deep in thought that he didn't even notice Sam in the room. He was muttering Spanish under his breath, unshed tears in his eyes. 

Sam pushed away his work with a small cough, earning his kid's attention. 

Quackity's eyes snapped from the floor to Sam. "Oh hey Sam! Didn't see you there," he chuckled with a smile that was so obviously fake.

The jagged scar on the side of his lips and the missing tooth didn't go unnoticed, Sam's heart broke at the implication. Despite wanting so bad to ask, he didn't comment on it since Q's trying so hard to put it off as nothing. 

Quackity's lost a life. 

Quackity's down to _one life_.

Sam hummed, he's never been more grateful for having a mask until now, he doesn't know if he could hold back his tears. "Had a bad day?" He asked, feeling terrible because the answer is obviosuly a yes. But if Quackity was going to pretend, then Sam would go along with it.

Doing so makes him feel down right horrible. How can he call himself a parent if he doesn't help his kid handle his problems properly? If he just lets Quackity's unhealthy coping mechanisms slide? But he reminds himself that this is _his_ kid and he knows how to handle Quackity's complexity. It just so happens that to handle said complexity also requires complex methods.

Sam stood up and walked towards the kitchen cabinets. "Go take a seat," he said with a sigh. 

He took out the needed ingredients and started working while Quackity sat and watched in silence. Sam would ever so often glance at Q to see him fidgeting with his feathers or absentmindedly tracing his scar, it was a sad sight. He really doesn't like seeing Quackity so miserable.

Sam's hands worked in instinct. He's baked so much of the same thing that he doesn't even need to check his measurements and things like that. He just knows.

He knows how much flour he should add just as much as he knows how pissed off he is. Yes, Sam's still very sad and very disappointed, but he is also angry. _Very_ angry. Who he's angry at? He's not sure.

Is he angry at Quackity for being so reckless that he lost his second life? Maybe. How many times has he told Quackity to _not act so carelessly?_ To stop acting on impulse? To not let his emotions control him? But he can't pin this solely on Quackity. He doesn't know the full picture yet. He doesn't know why it happened. Maybe Quackity was assassinated, maybe he was caught in a crossfire, maybe he saved someone's life in exchange of his own... maybe. Maybe Sam was in denial.

Is he angry at himself for letting his child loose another life? Possibly. What kind of parent has three lives but their child only has one left? Why did he let Q run for president? Why did he let his son propose to an awful dictator? Why did he join a side where Quackity wasn't a part of? Why did he let Q create a country of his own? Why does he let Q do a lot of things? Why is he such a bad parent? So many questions left unanswered, so many choices to regret.

Is he angry at the person that took away Quackity's second life? Oh _definitely_. Fuck all reason. Whether it be an act of self-defense or murder or an accident, he doesn't care. If he's going to play the blame game, Sam is going pin all the blame on the killer. He knows that scar didn't come from natural causes or from falling of a cliff, that scar was intentional and Sam would do _everything_ in his power to find out who put that there.

After an hour or less --he didn't keep track of time-- of just silence (which held slight tension, but Sam needs to gather his nerves before tackling that) and the sound of kitchen utensils being used, Sam was finished.

He placed the pie in the oven, as gently as he could, to cook. Sam was kind of disappointed that he didn't get to make an elaborate murder plan for whoever took away Quackity's second life, but that's fine.

Sam turned and sat across from Quackity with a raised eyebrow. He is aware that he has a mask, but he also knows that Quackity is smart enough to know he's being silently questioned.

Quackity pouted. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, adjusting his beanie out of habit. Then his hand tentatively touched his new scar before quickly pulling away, as if it burned him. Quackity refused to make eye contact and that's fine. Sam reminds himself that it's fine. This is normal.

"What have you been up to today?" Sam asked instead of answering, his voice may or may not have cracked because of the tears and anger and _so many emotions_ that he's holding back, but that's fine. He'd have to ease into it, not to go head first into the problem, that would just make Q clam up. This is fine. His heart may be in pieces and Quackity is being difficult as usual, but it's fine.

Quackity placed his forehead on the table with a deep sigh, his wings sagging at his sides. "Just... stuff. Nothing interesting really. I just thought I'd come by and visit, y'know? Eat some pumpkin pie, talk, I dunno..."

"Mhm, how's L'Manberg doing?" Sam asked, his voice lowered into a low whisper, afraid that speaking louder would reveal too much of the emotions he's currently shoving down in order to appear calm and collected.

"Fine, it's doing fine," Quackity whispered back. There was something there, behind his voice. Sadness, it sounded like he wanted to cry. Sam could relate.

Sam opened his mouth to say something. Something that would let him continue this ruse that they have. Something that won't make him snap and cry and scream. Something that won't make Quackity guilty or angry or sad. Something that would make Quackity open up instead of staying quiet. Something, _anything_. He finds nothing. Sam purses his lips, swallowing down a sob.

"I'm sorry," Quackity whispered after a few minutes of awkward silence. His voice sounded even quieter and sadder than before. "I'm sorry." He repeated, this time accompanied with a sob.

Quackity's shoulders started to shake, his wings mimicking the action. Then he started sobbing, never lifting his head from the table. "I'm so fucking sorry..." He said again and again, hiccuping and sobbing all the while. He sounded so broken, so _small_ , it reminded Sam just how young Quackity really is.

"No, no. _I'm_ sorry. I'm sorry I let this happen. I am so terribly sorry." Sam said as he moved to sit next to Quackity, awkwardly giving him a side hug.

Quackity shook his head and turned to hug Sam properly, wings enveloped him like a blanket as the hybrid sobbed into his chest. Sam pat Quackity's back, his own tears flowing down freely from his eyes.

"It's n-not your f-fault. It's not," Quackity insisted, but Sam didn't believe him one bit. The anger he had felt towards Quackity's killer shifted to himself the moment his child started crying. This is all his fault and he knew it.

He didn't say it out loud, he knew Quackity would just say otherwise. Instead, he chose to ask about the elephant in the room. "Q, what _happened?_ "

Quackity was already vulnerable, his emotions laid out like an open book after being sealed for so, _so long_. He was just so broken that after Sam finished the question, he just... broke down. He told Sam everything.

He told about being sick with Dream and his mind games, he told about being tired of being treated like nothing, he told about the hit list, he told about the Butcher Army, he told about Techno's kidnapping, he told about the failed execution, he told about following Techno to the Final Control Room, he told about the fight and... he told about his death.

If Sam's emotions and mind were in shambles before, it went fucking _haywire_ at the information dump that he just received. He didn't know how to handle it. He didn't know if he should be disappointed in Quackity, amused with Ghostbur, mad at Philza, angry at Tubbo, Ranboo and Fundy, or to be fucking _furious_ with Technoblade. 

"Are you... are you mad?" Quackity asked when he calmed down enough not to hiccup in between words.

Sam... really doesn't know. He's too overwhelmed. Too distraught. His mind was too all over the place to even start and comprehend the simple question. He blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. "Do you want some pumpkin pie?"

Quackity snorted in surprise. "Fucking-- we were having a moment Sam!" He whined. "I was so ready to shit my pants the moment you snap and you just-- argh!" He harshly bumped his forehead on Sam's chest in frustration.

"I'm sorry! You know how I get with things like this!" He defended. Even with ruining the mood, Sam's glad he got the hybrid to laugh even for a bit.

Quackity groaned and pulled away, albeit reluctantly. "Fine, let's eat or whatever," he said with a wave of his hand. He crossed his arms above his chest with a huff, refusing to look at Sam. Ah, back to closed off Quackity then. That's fine. Disappointing, but fine.

Sam smiled fondly at his kid before going to get the pie out of the oven. He wasn't even surprised when he found warm pie instead of scorching hot, Quackity's story took quite a while. He placed it on the table and cut a piece for Q then himself. 

Quackity eyed the pie, sniffed, wiped his puffy eyes, then ate. Sam watched him eat for a moment with a smile. 

"You know," he started, making Quackity look at him. "I'm not mad. Just disappointed." It was cliche, but it was true.

Quackity dropped eye contact and placed his fork on the table. "I know..."

"Please tell me you won't do anything like that again," Sam said, pleaded, whatever.

The hybrid's grip on his fork tightened so much that his knuckles turned white. "I-- sure..."

Sam's heart gets stuck in his throat. Quackity was lying. He was _lying_. Sam placed a hand over his mouth to hold back a sob, but he was too late.

Quackity's gaze snapped back to him. "Nonono, Sam please don't start crying-- I swear I won't do anything like that again. I promise-"

Sam cut him off with a shake of his head, then he started crying into his hands. He's such a terrible parent...

_He was too late._

He didn't get to change Quackity's mind because he was too _late_. He will never get the chance to teach Quackity so many things because he was _too late_. He was going to loose his child because _he was too late._

Evrything was fine, he fooled himself into thinking that everything was fine. But _nothing_ is fine. Because he was too late. It was too late for anything to be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Ha! You thought this would have comfort? Jokes on you, my version of Sam isn't good with emotions! Anyway, Emotional mess!Sam pog? I didn't mean to write Sam goibg through the five stages of grief, but it happened on it's own and I'm not complaining.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :D


End file.
